I don't usually arrange sex via text message
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
