come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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