I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
