Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
