I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
