don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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