so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
