Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
