it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
