what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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