My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
