would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i need to put some appletini on your dick
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
