mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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