on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
