I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
