just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
