shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
