ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
