the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its not stalking. its research.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
