there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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