i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
