This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
