I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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