Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
