best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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