I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
