i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
