She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize