Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
