I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
