I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
