even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
