Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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