im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
