He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
