someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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