he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
