nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
