yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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