I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize