just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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