when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
