And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
