Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
