he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
