So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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