O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
