I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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