is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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