this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
