dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
