if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
