He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
