highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize