They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
