just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
