Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
