After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
