dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
