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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial, avoidance and beer.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh god...probably.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.

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• (310): View more from California

  I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.

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