Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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