it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.