the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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